How to Talk to Your Parents About Using New Technology

For many adult children, helping their parents embrace new technology can be one of the most rewarding, and occasionally frustrating, experiences. We know that technology can make life easier, safer, and more connected. But for someone who didn’t grow up surrounded by it, the thought of learning new devices can be intimidating, even anxiety-inducing. What is second nature to you may feel foreign or unnecessary to them.

The goal is not to “teach” your parents about technology, it’s to open a conversation that builds confidence, understanding, and trust.

Start with empathy

It’s easy to forget how quickly the digital world has evolved. The last decade alone has brought smartphones that do more than early computers, video calls that feel like face-to-face visits, and apps for almost everything. For someone who has seen communication evolve from rotary phones to touchscreens, it’s understandable that the pace feels overwhelming.

Rather than beginning the conversation with what they “should” be doing, start with listening. Ask what feels difficult or confusing. Often, it’s not technology itself that is the barrier, it’s fear of making a mistake, or feeling left behind. By showing empathy first, you create a space where learning feels safe instead of stressful.

Keep the focus on what matters to them

Technology becomes meaningful when it’s linked to things that matter personally. Instead of listing features, talk about how it can help them stay connected to what they love. Maybe your mum misses seeing her grandchildren who live interstate. Maybe your dad wants an easier way to contact friends or get reminders for appointments. When technology serves a clear, human purpose, it becomes less about learning something new and more about improving everyday life.

This is where simple, purpose-built devices can make all the difference. The KISA Phone, for example, is designed specifically for people who want the benefits of modern technology without the complications of a smartphone. With large buttons, clear labels, and no confusing menus or apps, it helps older Australians stay in touch easily and confidently. It’s proof that technology does not have to be complex to be empowering.

Go slow, celebrate progress

When introducing something new, pace matters. Focus on one function at a time, and revisit it until it feels familiar. Repetition helps build comfort, and small successes can transform reluctance into pride. A short call to a family member or the first message sent independently can mean far more than a technical achievement, it’s a moment of confidence regained.

Be patient with questions and try to avoid taking over the device yourself. Instead, guide them through each step and let them do the hands-on work. This small act reinforces that it’s their device and their accomplishment.

It’s about connection, not conversion

Ultimately, these conversations are not really about technology at all. They are about connection, the same connection we have always sought, just through different means.

Why resistance to technology is not stubbornness

The first thing to understand is that resistance to technology is rarely about stubbornness or an inability to learn. For most older Australians, it is a rational response to real experiences.

Many have tried to use a smartphone and found it genuinely confusing, only to be told it is simple. Some have made an error - a wrong button press, an accidental call, a deleted message - and felt embarrassed about it. Others have watched technology change so rapidly that by the time they learned one system, it had already been updated or replaced.

Anxiety around new devices is also linked to fear of making mistakes that are hard to undo. On a smartphone, a single tap in the wrong place can delete a contact, post something publicly, or send an unexpected message to someone. For a person who does not instinctively know how to reverse these actions, the device feels unsafe - not merely unfamiliar.

Recognising this changes how you approach the conversation. You are not dealing with someone who is unwilling. You are dealing with someone who has tried to adapt before and found the experience unpleasant. Acknowledging that experience before anything else is the most important thing you can do.

Common objections - and what they actually mean

Understanding the real concern behind a stated objection makes it easier to respond usefully. Here are the ones that come up most often.

"I don't need it." This often means: I don't want to feel dependent or incapable. Acknowledge that they are managing fine - then focus on what the device adds rather than what it fixes. Frame it as something that gives them more freedom and more options, not fewer.

"I won't be able to figure it out." This is a fear of failure, not a prediction. Reassure them you will learn it together, and start with the single simplest function. One button, one outcome, one success. That first moment of it working is more persuasive than anything you could say.

"I managed without it for 70 years." True - and worth validating. The question is not whether they managed before, but whether the device genuinely improves daily life now. Some technology is worth adopting; most does not need to be just because it exists. Agree with them first, then make the specific case for this particular device.

"I don't trust it." This concern is usually specific, even if it sounds general. Ask what they don't trust - privacy, reliability, who can see their information, what happens to it. Addressing the actual concern is far more useful than a broad reassurance that technology is safe.

"It's too expensive." This is a practical concern and a fair one. Acknowledge it, and explore whether any funding pathway applies. If the device is for safety - a personal alarm, a purpose-built phone for someone with limited dexterity - there may be government support available through the Support at Home program or other assistance schemes.

A practical approach to the first introduction

Once your parent is willing to give something a try, how you introduce the device matters as much as which device you choose.

Start with words before the device arrives. Describe what it does in one sentence, using language they already understand. "It's a phone that calls me directly when you press this button" is more useful than any technical specification. Give them a mental picture of the outcome, not the mechanism.

Set the device up completely before handing it over. Every contact should be saved. Every setting should be configured to their preferences. They should not see a setup screen, a software update prompt, or a permission request the first time they pick it up. A device handed over half-configured communicates that it is complicated - even if it is not. Our guide to setting up a phone for an elderly parent covers what to configure before you hand the device over and how to make that first handover go smoothly.

Do one thing together, and stop there. Make one call. Send one message. Press the button and hear it work. End the session at that success. Do not show them every feature in a single sitting - that is exactly the kind of overwhelming experience that leads to the device being put in a drawer.

Call them on the device within 48 hours. Not to check how they are using it, but because you want to talk. A ringing call from a familiar person, answered successfully, reinforces the entire point: the device is working, and using it leads to something good.

What not to do

A few approaches that tend to make the conversation harder than it needs to be.

Showing frustration. Even a subtle sigh or a repeated explanation can close the conversation down. If you feel yourself losing patience, stop and return to it later. Your tone carries more weight than your words in these moments.

Taking over the device. The moment you reach across and do it for them, you have confirmed their fear that they cannot do it themselves. Guide with words. Let them do the action. Even if it takes longer, they leave the interaction believing they did it - which is the only outcome that leads to them trying again.

Framing it as necessary because of their age or health. "You need this in case something happens" can feel like a reminder of vulnerability or decline. Lead with convenience and connection. Safety is a real benefit, but it is rarely the most persuasive opening.

Introducing too many features at once. The goal of the first introduction is not to teach everything. It is to create one positive experience. Every additional feature shown in the same session is another thing that could go wrong or feel overwhelming. More can come later, once the basics feel familiar.

Giving up after one difficult session. One conversation that does not go well is not evidence that your parent will never accept technology. It is information: this moment was not the right one, or this particular approach did not work. Try again later, differently.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know when my parent is genuinely ready to try a new device?

Look for openness rather than enthusiasm. They do not need to be excited - they just need to be willing to give it a go. If they mention a specific problem that technology could help with - difficulty hearing phone calls, worry about being alone, missing family they cannot easily visit - that is a natural opening. Start with the problem, not the product.

What if my parent tries the device and gives up after a week?

Ask what specifically felt difficult. Often it is one concrete thing - a button that is hard to press, a ringtone that is too quiet, a contact that was not saved properly. Small adjustments solve most early abandonment. If the device genuinely is not right for them, there may be a better-suited option - one designed for their specific needs rather than for older adults in general.

Are there professionals who can help with technology introduction?

Yes. Occupational therapists can assess what type of assistive technology suits an individual and support the introduction in a structured way. Many aged care providers and community health services also offer digital literacy support. If the technology is being funded through a government programme such as the Support at Home scheme, an assistive technology advisor can guide both the choice of device and the process of introducing it.

What if the issue is really that they just do not want to use technology at all?

That is a valid position, and not every older person needs to adopt every type of technology. If the concern is specifically about safety - staying connected, accessing help when needed - it is worth exploring whether a very simple, single-purpose device might feel less like "technology" and more like a practical tool. A device that makes and receives calls and little else is a different conversation from a smartphone.